My day as a two year old…

I loved the post one Finnish blogger posted in her blog http://pienipiiri.blogspot.fi/2013/08/paivani-kaksivuotiaana.html . She is writing about her life with a child, she has a master degree in pedagogics and describes every day family life fantastically! I thought I would translate this post for you who cannot read Finnish as the story is so hilarious. She has written her imaginary day as a two year old and what a life would be like if we adults behaved like toddlers…I laughed so hard whilst reading it! I hope you find it funny too!

The alarm is ringing at 6.45am. I am too lazy to wake up so I roll over and mamble something half sleeping. When I finally wake up I throw my partner with a pillow and I scream “wake up!” “let’s go to the lounge!”. I get a horrible tantrum when I am told to do my morning wee as I have other more intriguing plans in my mind. I am running away from the silly person who tries to take me for a wee and I throw myself to the floor like a sausage. Luckily after the morning wee I can add a horse sticker to my sticker book. In fact I want to add another one but I am not allowed to. I am throwing myself to the ground again and I kick the floor furiously.

I manage to get to work as long as I can press all the buttons in the lift whilst going up and stopping at every single floor. I note how nice it is that I have buddies there. In the corridor an older colleague is on my way a tiny bit so I knock himself to the floor and run to do my tasks for the day. I cannot find my pen anywhere so I grab the lovely looking red pen from my collegue’s hand. Suddenly I notice that he has the folder that I left lying on the table. “That is mine!” I yell and I snatch it back to myself. I nudge him to his shoulder just in case and I cover the folder with my body when leaving to make sure no one can steal it from me again.

At the work canteen there is some new but dodgy looking pulp for lunch today. I decide not to taste it and I start flourishing my hands all over the place and kicking with my legs whilst my working mates are trying to persuade me to taste this horrible thing. When I finally agree to taste it I get very disappointed as the food is not good at all. I yell extremely loud, I open my mouth and I let all this awful food dribble out of my mouth along my chin landing back to the plate. I eat some cucumber for lunch, a few pasta shapes and half a litre of milk. In the end of the lunch my working mate offers me some chewing gum but I get a tantrum again as I am not allowed to take it myself out form the package. I knock the chewing gum bag with its contents to the floor and I weep theatrically. 

In the afternoon my line manager suggests a small meeting related to some current issues. I am just in the middle of an important task so I am not listening to him. My line manager’s voice becomes more demanding but I state simply “no”. When my line manager approaches me to take me to the meeting room by holding my hand I throw myself to the floor again, I roll over a few times and I start screaming my lungs out saying “Nooooo, nooo!!”. My line manager comes to me and tries to calm me down to which I respond with a louder cry whilst dragging myself further from him. After screaming for a while my anger transforms into annoyance and I run with my hands wide open straight to my line manager’s arms. After a short sniffle I calm down and we continue working.

At home I am allowed to watch East Enders after the dinner. I want to watch another episode straight after the one I saw but my partner is claiming that only one episode is showed at a time. Of course he lies so I throw myself to the carpet in the lounge and start crying “ I WANT. The tactic does not work so I stand up and start crying hysterically whilst trying to say between the breaths “ I feel so offended!” Luckily my partner takes me to his arms for a short while where I am hanging all evening and if he even dares to put me down I start crying again. Later in the evening my partner falls asleep before me so I throw him with a teddy bear and yell “Hey don’t start sleeping yet!” . I sing all the songs I know, I say all the poems I have learnt and finally I fell asleep in the middle of my own waffle. 

Oh wouldn’t it be just lovely to behave like this as it was totally natural! 🙂

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