I have often wondered how some women can have pregnancy kilos after being a mum for more than half a year. One of my friends commented on this question in one of the emails we sent to each others by saying ”I think those ladies who still have kilos left after mummy days must have boring babies”. I don’t know how fair this comment is but this applies to my situation at least!
My ”mummy diet” is very simple. I wake up at 6am at the latest (after waking up 2-4 times a night). I prepare the breakfast for my restless baby. I bounce her in my arms whilst making the porridge, I feed her whilst entertaining her like a circus clown (believe it or not I am doing African drumming at the moment, it is the hit!). After her breakfast I manage to prepare my own breakfast but just when I am about to have it, my baby starts crying again and I cannot finish it as I need to breastfeed her…a new attempt..fails..a new attempt..fails..a new attempt..finally a success and I eat in a speed of a rocket. I take my baby upstairs, change her nappy, I put her to bouncer, I bounce her with my leg whilst putting on my make up.
I keep on bouncing her, entertaining her until it is her morning snack time..same show again..she starts to be tired but doesn’t know how to fall asleep. A new breastfeed, I call this a knock down morning feed..usually it works. I go for a pram walk in the park to keep her asleep then to supermarket to use this nap time efficiently by buying all the food for lunch and dinner. This includes some super heavy spring water bottles and vegetable bags. My baby wakes up just as I am about to start walking back home..she start with a whinge that turns to a cry and she cries and cries. I sing to her, no impact. She cries still so I have to pick her up and take her to my arms. I keep on pushing the pram that weighs like it was full of stones. I do this with one hand, holding my baby in another. Whilst doing this I regret we chose the house that is uphill from the supermarket as I need to always hike uphill with all these bags and baby in my arms. I look like a donkey.
At home I keep on bouncing my baby whilst unloading the shopping into the fridge. It is time to prepare her lunch, I repeat the bouncing, putting her down pattern, never works. I feed her, this time drumming doesn’t work so we need toys. A new game, my dear daughter throws the toys to the ground I pick them up, she throws them down, I pick them up. We play this game and I scoop food into her mouth. My back feels sore. Finally done. I start preparing my own lunch (usually salad , it is fast to eat and not bad if eaten cold) and I reckon I have never chopped cucumber and tomatoes so quickly. I have no time to do any meat as my baby is cranky. I throw some leftover chicken on top of the salad, I eat it whilst holding my wiggling baby who does not want to crawl on the ground or be left alone with her toys. I have a cup of coffee -surprisingly warm this time- and yay I got some lunch down. I am still hungry, salad whilst breastfeeding is not enough but there is no time to prepare anything extra as I really need to do some washing too. I carry dirty washing baskets up and down the stairs whilst holding my baby. In my mind I wonder why I let them fill up so full that they are heavier than my usual 20 kilo travel suitcase.
I try an afternoon knock down breastfeed, sometimes it works. I take my baby for another walk so that she would stay asleep even for half an hour. Same story as in the morning, she wakes up 15 minutes before we hit the home door and I end up carrying her in my arms whilst wheeling the pram uphill. It is time for her afternoon snack. This time we start with African drumming and end up throwing toys. I comfort myself, at least she ate it all. Now my baby starts getting her ”evening crankies”. The alternating game begins. This means I move her from room to room, we have a mirror game in between, I put her to door bouncer, then to the regular bouncer and a new round again. As the clock approaches 5.30pm she gets manic. She wiggles and requires heavier bouncing. At 5.30pm I am too tired to bounce, my hands ache and eyes hardly stay open. I take one rice cake and stuff it into my mouth, some blood sugar. I open a pack or crisps but manage to get only two into my mouth. I prepare her porridge whilst entertaining her, I sing, I dance and she still whinges. I feed her the porridge. This time no games, good eating, luckily.
I run upstairs to make the bath whilst holding her, I let the water run. I realise all her washed clothes are downstairs. I hold her and I run downstairs to pick her night romper, I run upstairs with her. I bath her and entertain her by splashing the water and singing songs. I take her away from the bath and I wrap her with the towel. When I get to her room I remember her sleeping bag is downstairs. I run downstairs whilst holding my towel wrapped baby. I run upstairs with my towel wrapped baby. Suddenly I feel something warm against my skin. She weed. Well here we go again. I take her to bathroom and wash her again. Whilst doing this I realise that all the towels are downstairs as I have not had a chance to bring them upstairs during this day long entertainment show. I take my wet baby to downstairs and wrap her in her towel. I run upstairs hoping she has no more wees to do. I start putting her nappy on. She hates it, she wants to be naked like Adam and Eve. So I sing and I drum. Nothing works, I give up. As soon as I get her ready I start the knock down good night feed. I see her falling asleep, her eyes are slowing closing and after every minute I feel my body is getting more and more relaxed. Soon I will have my own spare moment. Win. Sleeping baby.
I run downstairs, I prepare a dinner for me and my husband. Usually this is something super carbful like risotto or potato dish! I have my glass of white wine and take a breath. I haven’t had a chance to snack anything during the day, I have hardly visited a loo myself, I have run like a crazy chicken, I have entertained my baby like a jumping monkey. I reckon I have lifted up weights more than I could ever do at the gym. I have walked at least two hours outside, I have pushed the heavy pram and shopping uphill. I have run up and down the stairs all day long and not alone. No kilos after this. Does your baby not need entertainment? Mine does. All the time. This is my mummy diet. Does it sound familiar?
As crazy as it is I love it and I love her.
If you felt like this could be a day of your life listen to this song on Youtube. This ”Motherhood feat” video was something that my colleagues told me to watch before going to maternity leave. I was laughing at it back then, now I know what they meant 🙂